A core concept of POSITIVE LIFE CHOICE PSYCHOLOGY is that if you have the all-powerful feelings of high self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love firmly embedded in your Heart-of-Hearts™ you will make positive and highly beneficial choices and decisions that reflect those empowering feelings. To be more specific, if you love yourself, the track that your life is on, and you feel that you are worthy of and/or deserve a great, heathy life and loving relationships, you are organically motivated to make choices that will bring about, preserve, and enhance all of these wonderful and salutary things.
As I discuss in my book, “ASPIRE HIGHER: How to Find the Love, Positivity, and Purpose to Elevate Your Life and the World!”, the concept of self-love isn’t at all selfish; it is an authentic valuing and treasuring of your life, your emotional, psychological, and physical wellbeing, your potential and future, your relationships, and the like. In “ASPIRE HIGHER”, I also define the term “Heart-of-Hearts” as a combination of your heart, soul, and psyche. It is your innermost, central, core being.
Given the thoughts above, the key question then becomes: How do you develop feelings of high self-esteem, high self-worth, and potent self-love in your Heart-of-Hearts, so that you’re motivated to make the very most of your life and the lives of those you love? Two of the most important ways that’s this is accomplished are:
1. Have people in your life that authentically love, respect, value, and treasure you. Of course, you ideally received this authentic love and treasuring from your parents, caregivers, and significant others from the day you were born. Optimally, you also received love, respect, and were highly valued by others through your life. All of these events built up feelings of high self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love in your Heart-of-Hearts. However, because we all have had different life experiences and have or have not been loved, treasured, respected, and valued by key others in different amounts and with varying effectiveness, our Heart-of-Hearts have been filled to varying degrees with feelings of being loved, treasured, and highly valued, along with feelings of anger, rage, insecurity, unlovability, frustration, paralyzing fear, lack of approval, hurt, and/or disappointment.
For the most part, whether or not you were truly loved, cared about, treasured, and highly-valued as a child and youngster is pretty much “the luck of the draw” and beyond your control. What IS in your total control and the most effective means to fill and re-fill your Heart-of-Hearts with love and feelings of high self-esteem, high self-worth, and empowering self-love lies in the life choices and decisions that you consciously choose to make, which we discuss in #2 below. The state of your life and how happy or unhappy you are with it, for the most part, are a direct reflection of the choices that you’ve made. The great news is that your choices are your Super-Hero Power to lift your life!
2. There are things that you cannot control in life; we all know and have experienced this. However, you CAN control your choices, your emotions, your perspective, your attitude, and your actions. As I discuss in detail in “ASPIRE HIGHER”, when you begin to make small and then more important life choices that elevate you, your life, your happiness, your health, and your spirits and your optimism, you begin to, step-by-step, develop the empowering confidence that you can effect positive change in your life and in some instances dramatically improve it! You feel masterful and are positively reinforced to continue to make positive, beneficial, and constructive choices and decisions in the future. This is similar to you losing the first five or so pounds on your diet. You look good! You feel good! And you’re motivated to continue to make positive and wise dietary choices moving forward because you love the sweet fruits of your disciplined, higher-value-based choices.
As you continue to make more and more positive, beneficial, life- and spirit-elevating choices, you start to develop enabling and empowering feelings of high self-esteem and self-worth; your self-image and sense-of-self elevate as well. You now begin to feel that you are truly worthy of great things and people in your life and that you deserve them. At some point in this highly enhancing inner growth process, you develop the all-important feelings of self-love, and when you love yourself and your Heart-of-Hearts is filled with love and positive, elating feelings, you not only bestow that love on yourself, through the healthy, loving, kind, well-thought-out, and constructive choices and decisions that you make for yourself, but you are also motivated to bestow love, kindness, and support onto others. All of these amazing results occur because YOU, through your positive choices, have consciously and proactively filled your Heart-of-Hearts with pure, empowering, and catalyzing feelings of self-love.
Making positive, constructive, and wise life choices for yourself and for those who may be impacted by your choices is one of the very most empowering forms of self-help that you can practice, as this process is all in your hands and in your control! You can jumpstart your life in the most fantastic and rewarding ways, by starting today or whenever you’re ready, to elevate your life, your optimism and positivity, your wellbeing, the quality of your relationships, and your potential, as well as the lives of others by the positive choices that you make!
You truly can do this! I wish you all of the very best, and may all of your choices be positive and life-elevating ones!
All my very best,
Founder of Positive Life Choice Psychology